Monday, October 02, 2006

Having a bad life

I never really wanted that much out of life. I didn’t dream of being a rock star or a movie star. I never wanted to be rich and famous. Well, rich, but not famous. I just wanted to grow up and do my own thing.

I don’t like the person I am right now. I don’t like constantly fighting with both of my parents about money. Every conversation is a struggle and I just can’t do it anymore.

I’m going to talk to Chris tonight, but I’m thinking about turning everything back over to Mom and telling both of them that’s it. If they want to spend every dime they have on junk, then that’s fine. But when the money’s gone, I’m not going to be buying them cigarettes, or paying for trips to the casino, or anything like that.

I’m just so tired of being the responsible one. The ONLY responsible one. They don’t seem to understand that this isn’t 20 years ago. They aren’t rich. In fact, they spend several thousand dollars more a month than they have coming in. And yet they want to know where it goes and why they can’t do all those things they used to do.

I want to go to work in the morning and go home every evening to my husband. I want to have weekly phone calls with my parents and occasional visits, and that’s all. I don’t want to have to deal with the drama anymore. I’m not sure I can even if I wanted to.

I want to be able to focus on my life instead of theirs. Is that really so much to ask?

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