Selfishness is...

People are inherently selfish. Everyone is. I am. You are. Something comes up and the first thought any of us have is “What’s in it for ME?” and “What’s it going to cost ME?” And that’s okay. That’s how we’re built, and after that first thought, most of us move on and think about the cost and benefit to the group, whatever group that is.

When Chris first brought up the idea of buying a duplex and moving Dad in and having me quit working, my first thought was “Hell no, why do I want to give up my job and have to stay home all day and take care of someone else?” I love working, I love the independence it gives me, the sense of accomplishment, the knowledge that I’m doing SOMETHING with my life. Not to take anything away from those people who stay at home, it’s just not something I’ve ever really wanted to do. Even when we talked about having kids and Chris wanted me to stay at home with them, at least until they were in school, I swore that I’d go crazy in a month and that I’d have to work at least part time.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of days where I think “God, I just don’t want to go to work, maybe I could just call in sick and enjoy the day.” And there’s even been a few days over the years where I’ve done just that (thank God for vacation days!) Today is one of those days where I wish I didn’t have to be here – have you looked outside? It’s gorgeous!

So my first reaction was HELL NO to staying home with Dad. And then as the days passed, I kept thinking about positives to staying home – I could get finished with school earlier. I would have time to do some of the projects that I’ve wanted to do. I wouldn’t have to get up and rush around in the morning trying to get out the door by a certain time – while trying to stay out of Chris’ way while he does the same thing.

And now, I see more pluses than minuses when I think about the idea.

So we broached the idea to Mom, and it went over like a lead balloon. I can understand her point, she’s enjoying her freedom, the first freedom she’s had in a long time. I can appreciate that, I’ve been looking for a little myself. So we decided to let her stew about the idea for a few days and see if she feels a little better about it.

I still don’t see a better solution. The money is going to run out in 2-5 years. So, do we leave him in the nursing home until the money’s gone and then scramble around trying to figure out what to do, or do we take steps now to try to solve the problem? No decisions have to be made right this minute, but it’s still something that we need to plan for.