Irony

The biggest issue Chris had at his last 2 jobs was that he wasn't working as quickly as they thought he should. The other day, he told his helper to go home because "I'm not going to pay him to stand around smoking cigarettes and throw the ball for the dog."

Of course, Chris' bosses on those last 2 jobs wanted him to go to a house, throw some freon in, and leave without spending any more time there, and Chris would stay long enough to actually fix whatever the problem was, whereas his helper was just standing around smoking. I still thought it was pretty funny - though I didn't tell Chris that!