Monday, February 05, 2007

Who do you talk to?

Dad's not dealing very well with the loss of his leg. He's angry and depressed, and he's taking it out on the people around him (I feel sorry for those nurses at the hospital), but he won't talk about it to anyone.

I expected the anger. I started to say I understand the anger, but obviously I can't. I did expect it though, and I've tried to find a support group, or someone to come and talk to him about it. Someone who's been through this and who can understand what he's been through. I called the only support group listed in OKC and they can't be bothered to call me back - obviously they aren't a very good support group.

Mom says I'm expecting too much too soon. I say the sooner he starts to deal with it, rather than ignore it, the better off we all are going to be. Because he's still not eating, can't speak civily to anyone when he does speak, and just lays there telling us that the breeze from us walking by hurts his leg.

Part of the problem is that he hadn't admitted to himself that he couldn't walk anymore - he hasn't been able to for almost 2 years now. And before that, he could barely walk 5 feet. But in his mind, he always has walked, so by God, he could still walk. So now he feels like his mobility is gone for the first time, and he's having to deal with that issue on top of losing his leg. That losing his leg has cost him his mobility.

Hopefully he's going to go to physical therapy in the next couple of days, and they will be able to show him that he's just as mobile now as he has been for the last couple of years. Maybe then he can start to deal with the loss.

Maybe I am expecting too much too soon, but I can't stand to see him like this.

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